Author Topic: Conservative and liberal imitations  (Read 1343 times)

Travis Retriever

  • Sarcasitron collider
  • *****
  • Posts: 6003
  • Bogometer: -1
    • View Profile
    • My DeviantART
    • Email
Conservative and liberal imitations
« on: May 19, 2010, 05:12:49 PM »
Liberal: "Hello, I'm Donald Douche;  And I'm an authoritarian piece of shit.  And...They're...forcing me to pay for the wars and bases overseas, the propping up of dictatorships, the war on Marijuana, corporate welfare, and the linings of pockets of special interests that I don't like *sob*.  I just want the state to use force to pay for things like; like free health care, free schooling, and a free lunch.  I just want to force people to pay for things I like and want, not the things I don't like, why can't you libertarians understand that?"

Conservative: "Well, hello.  I'm Cletus McCliterus.  And unlike that liberal pussy, I'm NOT an authoritarian piece of shit.  I don't want the government to force people to pay for welfare, schools, or health care.  That's not right.  I just want them to pay for the war on drugs, a military that's no less than 400% bigger than it is now, a draft of everyone aged 16-30, besides them gays, more police powers to stop gays from marrying, propping up of ruthless dictators--for freedom of course.  You know, the basics."
:P

Note:  If this breaks any rules of any kind, tell me why and I will change it accordingly.
This was meant to be satirical, however.
"When the mob and the press and the whole world tell you to move, your job is to plant yourself like a tree beside the river of truth, and tell the whole world—'No. You move.'"
-Captain America, Amazing Spider-Man 537

valvatica

  • Bogon shield
  • **
  • Posts: 108
  • Bogometer: -11
  • Willie hears ya, Willie don't care.
    • View Profile
Re: Conservative and liberal imitations
« Reply #1 on: May 19, 2010, 06:03:50 PM »
McCliterus

Hehe. Funny, but sad at the same time because so many people want to be fooled no matter how much you try to reason with them. They'd rather stick with a party that sucks and use a whole bunch of qualifiers to justify their position, like "I'm a Democrat but I'm not part of the Jesse Jackson, anti-Zionist, gay marriage, pro-choice etc. etc. part of it! I'm part of the blahblahblahblahblibbidyblah part of it!" instead of just, oh I don't know, leaving the damn party and becoming an Independent or Libertarian or something that's NOT the two big parties.

I know these memes can get tiring but I couldn't resist:

"Did you know that the hole's only natural enemy is the pile?"
"Dead Poets Society has destroyed a generation of educators."
  --The Simpsons, "Special Edna"

Travis Retriever

  • Sarcasitron collider
  • *****
  • Posts: 6003
  • Bogometer: -1
    • View Profile
    • My DeviantART
    • Email
Re: Conservative and liberal imitations
« Reply #2 on: May 19, 2010, 06:18:27 PM »
Which is ironic, because public health care comes from the government; no need to pass a law against it, just abolish the laws that allow the state to fund it, and allow said state to meddle in it.
Simple.
So the person who made that one could have done better.
Otherwise, awesome.

And yes, your verbally posted point is so very true.
Just like the "well I voted for the lessor of two evils" bullshit we've ALL heard around election time.
"When the mob and the press and the whole world tell you to move, your job is to plant yourself like a tree beside the river of truth, and tell the whole world—'No. You move.'"
-Captain America, Amazing Spider-Man 537