Fav quotes

[Ibrahim90]

One April we had 6 inches of snow, and the next day it was 80F. People were going around in shorts and t-shirts with snow covering everything!

what madness is this?!

[Travis Retriever]

What if it's raining? Or what if you're like me and have a bad knee and need an ellipsoid machine for cardio?

Use an umbrella or get your shower in with your cardio.   In all seriousness, I don't think Menno was talking about folks like you.  I know I wasn't.

[evensgrey]

One April we had 6 inches of snow, and the next day it was 80F. People were going around in shorts and t-shirts with snow covering everything!

Not even this far north, where I grew up,one Christmas day we had 30 cm (12 inches) of snow, and the next day it was 30C.  The melt was impressive.

what madness is this?!

The kind of weather we get here in the ill-named 'Temperate Zone'.

[MrBogosity]

what madness is this?!

North Carolina, baby!

The kind of weather we get here in the ill-named 'Temperate Zone'.

The "distemperate zone."

[Ibrahim90]

North Carolina, baby!

The "distemperate zone."

yeah, I've either lived in the Near East (with its weather), Texas (subtropical), and Colorado (Alpine). the latter is as closest as I get, but the temperatures are related to day and night, and vary more between the two than between days XD

[evensgrey]

yeah, I've either lived in the Near East (with its weather), Texas (subtropical), and Colorado (Alpine). the latter is as closest as I get, but the temperatures are related to day and night, and vary more between the two than between days XD

I seem to recall that Alpine should have Temperate-style summer and winter cycling, since I've seen it further south than that.  (I happened to be visiting Flagstaff, AZ one March and got caught by a blizzard, delaying my departure by a day.  It was to be by road, so all would have been fine once I got out of the high country and down onto the desert floor, but getting down would have been trickier than I needed to deal with.  The weird part is you don't even NOTICE that you're climbing up the better part of a mile to get in there.)

[Ibrahim90]

I seem to recall that Alpine should have Temperate-style summer and winter cycling

yes and no: it usually happens over several days: it's usually day and night that has the most variation, not day by day. And even the worst variation wasn't this extreme (usually ~10-15 degrees Fahrenheit). Then again, the climate's been changing here lately according to the local observers, so it may well have been more common in the past. 

anyways, I found this funny quote: obviously the guy who said it isn't going to be very popular here, but it was still a good line:

The director of the Brotherhood made several requests. What were they? he first asked "you must impose the Hijab on Egypt", and let every woman walk the street wearing a "tarha"*: every one of them! and I told them "if someone told me we did this, then I'd say we returned to the days of Al-Hakim bi'amr illah**, who wouldn't let people walk out in the day, but at nights, And it's my opinion that it's up to the individual in his own house to implement this.

So he replies: "well, no, you as the ruler are responsible.". So I told him "Professor: you have a daughter in Medical School...she's not wearing a tarha or anything...Why didn't you dress her in one? If you can't get one girl--your own daughter--to dress in a tarha, how do you want me dress 10 million people in a tarha?"

*it's like an Egyptian version of the Burka, only lighter.
**a Fatimid ruler of Egypt: he was a bit of a fanatic...

[AnCap Dave]

Win:
[yt]9es3KDg8OAg[/yt]

[Travis Retriever]

From page 80 of the December 2012 edition of the MILO journal (a magazine mainly about strength athletics):

A reporter once asked Doug Hepburn, "Mr. Hepburn, how does it feel to be all brawn and no brains?"

Hepburn's response:  "I wouldn't know―how does it feel to be neither?"

I guess the reporter would have needed a HepBURN heal for that one. Hur hur hur. :3

On a semi-related note, it seems just about every legendary tier strongman, weightlifter, etc, tend to be from places that are cold:  Russia (Vasily Alexeev, among many others), Iceland (too many to name), and especially Canada (Louis Cyr & Doug Hepburn are two good examples).

Which leads me to wonder...what the hell are they feeding people up there? O.o

[Ibrahim90]

Just discovered this parody of Rudyard Kipling's "the White Man's Burden", written in 1902. a bit NSFW, but hey, it's still win (or at least, funny)

[spoiler]

With apologies to Rudyard Kipling

Take up the White Man's burden.

Send forth your sturdy kin,

And load them down with Bibles

And cannon-balls and gin.

Throw in a few diseases

To spread the tropic climes,

For there the healthy *******

Are quite behind the times.

And don't forget the factories.

On those benighted shores

They have no cheerful iron mills,

Nor eke department stores.

They never work twelve hours a day

And live in strange content,

Altho they never have to pay

A single sou of rent.

Take up the White Man's burden,

And teach the Philippines

What interest and taxes are

And what a mortgage means.

Give them electrocution chairs,

And prisons, too, galore,

And if they seem inclined to kick,

Then spill their heathen gore.

They need our labor question, too,

And politics and fraud—

We've made a pretty mess at home,

Let's make a mess abroad.

And let us ever humbly pray

The Lord of Hosts may deign

To stir our feeble memories

Lest we forget—the Maine.

Take up the White's Man's burden.

To you who thus succeed

In civilizing savage hordes,

They owe a debt, indeed;

Concessions, pensions, salaries,

And privilege and right—

With outstretched hands you raised to bless

Grab everything in sight.

Take up the White Man's burden

And if you write in verse,

Flatter your nation's vices

And strive to make them worse.

Then learn that if with pious words

You ornament each phrase,

In a world of canting hypocrites

This kind of business pays.

[/spoiler]

[Ibrahim90]

[yt]GkYPYCTK8Ss[/yt]

OK, it was too long for best insults thread, but not too long for here (red is what the idiots say--Bassem's lines in black
[spoiler]

No worries--the followers of Sheikh Hazem are a bit enthusiastic, but with President Morsi, the matter is totally different: the Brotherhood are sane people--they don't just exaggerate like that...

a Brotherhood big-wig: I am completely satisfied with the president's performance, and I believe he was destined to this role by our Lord

from the perspective of fate, he's a fate...our Lord chose him, God tests us with him...Everything our Lord brings is good! No worries about these complements and exaggerations--he didn't want it, but came by it through fate--that's fine--but it's hard to find someone who says "he's called upon by God", especially if her name is Manal abu ul-hasan of the Freedom and Justice Party *shows a screen with her name*

Muhammad Morsi the professor Doctor and Engineer...was called up by God allmighty, because he willed and chose him to be the candidate of the Muslim Brotherhood

And what about the money spent over shafeeq? was that called upon by God?!Or the revival project--was that from God? And human chains and crowds descending on the Ittihadiyya "and this is triangle cheese you bastards!"--all that, that was from God? All this next to a strong trait of his:

no one in the Media or among the politicians, or the non-politicians is able to find a single black point in his white history--he is a transparent white person!

you do realize you turned out to support the President, not to advertise a laundry detergent, right? "cleanliness of clothes, I mean I KISS YOUR HANDS DON'T TORCH THE STAGE! Also, what's with this "transparent"? what scandal is this? white and transparent? is he a Jellyfish?

*someone shows a picture of Mr. Andeel of the Brotherhood (Andeel means Jellyfish)*

NOT THIS GUY!

*picture of a Jellyfish*

YES!! THIS!!

Problem's that Morsi when he speaks, he speaks of achievements, on plans, on national concordance--true, nothing comes of it, but he speaks of it! He has a vision--it's true only the Brotherhood sees it, but if you take it by the hands, and look really hard at it....you still won't find it! But this isn't the problem--the problem is that other people promoted Morsi, not because he's an engineer or he has a vision, no--they promoted him for something totally different:

your president is bearded! your president goes on Umrah and visits the Prophet's mosque! Your president leads prayers! your president gives religious lessons! your president speaks of the Book and Way! do you not do takbeer?

Do you not do takbeer?! The cooking cylinder is 80 Pounds if you can find it! do you not do takbeer?! The garbage rather than being picked up increases so that you can fall over in its blessings! do you not do takbeer?! Blood pressure's climbing and we're going to rise with it*! do you not do takbeer?!

And people are going up on the pulpits and what have you, saying "what has he done in the first 100 days? what?" Who cares about the hundred days! We have a president Who prays, what more do you want? *the poster here reads: on the margins of the presidency*

No, no, no, on the subject of the hundred days, it doesn't occur to me that they'll exploit the faith on the subject of the hundred days:

What did the Prophet (PBUH) achieve after 100 days--that is, after he fled from Makkah to Medinah after 100 days? Guy interrupts: "no, I object to this" wait, I still must explain myself! what did the Prophet PBUH achieve, with divine protection, and aided by God allmighty: did he achieve the vision that the followers of the Prophet dreamed of in a hundred days? My question is as follows: what did the Prophet (PBUH) achieve in the first 100 days?**

So the divine revaluations came to Morsi and no one told us? You're clowning around with us, right? you don't mean this simile? Was there at the time revalation, a message, and so on, or are you winging that? Are you living with us in this day in age, or....

*imitating abu Jahl*: "they say there's a new constitution***...whose followers vote for with a yes...So what are we to do? (the poster here reads: "abu Jahl votes "no"; the tune is "we are the two crows of 'ak)

This by the way is how the people speak at the salvation front****...are we done with the similes? is it over? does anyone want to add to this?

Dr. Mohammad Morsi...resembles the Prophet Joseph in one facet...I do not like to be excessive about anyone..

at all!! no excess, no exaggeration in using similes with Prophets at all! Shame has exceeded you and given you room!

So in what way did he resemble him?

our Lord Joseph, came out of the Prison and onto the throne...Dr. Mohammad Morsi also came out of Prison and onto the throne of Egypt

(poster reads to the side: "Freedom and famine/ we bring the famine to you") And because of this, whenever there's a famine in the country, and go through the seven years of drought, don't be worried...This is of the graces of Morsi...just as it happened that long ago...but maybe a real tiny request--just this tiny: can we first see the seven good years first? by the way, when the seven years of drought come to an end, you have to reelect him, then the following year will be perfect!

Have we completed using similes to prophets? can we talk about the blessings of the president and his qualification? It occurs to me that I'm a bit afraid of the subject of these similes...

God has graced us with a president...who leads prayers with his subordinates in the presidential palace! and prays communally in the Mosque! God is Great! The communal prayers has now started to be held in the Presidential palace!

My God! first time I heard of prayers in the presidential palace! that's totally lovely! oh I wonder, after that, did he destroy the idols there? Well, in light of this, congratulations on the conversion of the New Egypt to Islam! after Islam entered al-qurba and the suburbs of yuniopolis...This will be the last time Hamzawi will earn a seat in Parliament. I mean, thank God, the conquests had been halted at the urfa tunnel because of the traffic jam...But now there's hope that we'll complete the next step: God willing we'll be in the miriland and then the triumph*****...

OK, seriously guys: Thank God for having a president who is a believer...in all honestly--thuthfully...the President Morsi is perfect in all facets:

Morsi is an Islamist and bearded, and prays in the mosque and observes the morning prayers
Praise be to God...we now have a president with a beard...it's a bit small, but much better...

And you're still not pleased?! it's alright--we'll tolerate him...maybe tomorrow it'll lengthen more...right now it's not up to standards...it's small but close to yours!

is it really possible? that as long as he's bearded, then there's no problem at all? since he prays, problems in the land are going to be solved automatically?

Guys...Guys...all that is left, are dream visions...

excuse me...one second...I've seen Morsi in six visions

six visions? you have this much emptiness that he can come to you in six visions? does the president have time to come to you in six visions?

So did he come with his guards and jam the traffic, or did he cross over normally? I mean when the president comes to me, he closes two lanes dead in their tracks...Anyways, the vision's fine: at least she didn't say she was called on by God, or that he was dressed in white...

I saw him in six visions...and I see him weeping, and the man is weeping...and I see him in shining white clothes--a sign of faith and piety, and I tell him you are led by God

And sister once he came to me in my sleep--and that was a sign of good--and in his hands was a constitution...I asked the sheikh, and he said this is a good omen: I said "am I covered?", he said "no you're not--we all are!*"

[/spoiler]




*basically, "we're going to get fucked over with it"
**for the record: he did way more: formed a government, found housing for all the refugees who'd immigrated to Medinah by setting up a pairing system (one local volunteers to share his house with one immigrant), ended a war between aws and Khazraj (the two main Pagan tribes at the time), stopped another one from starting up after a Jewish guy tried to stir up memories of the day of Bu'ath, and came up with one of history's earliest written constitutions...I'd say that's more than Morsi did...
***Morsi attempted to first amend, then replace, the then current 1971 constitution: the salafis and brotherhood peoples wanted to vote yes, and started a campaign insinuating that you're against Islam if you vote no. Abu Jahl, for those of you who don't know, was the most savage persecutor of early Muslims--his real name was 'Amr b. Hisham, and "Abu Jahl" is an insult, meaning "father of ignorance".
****this was the secular coalition which formed the opposition in Morsi's government.
*****as in the monument Napoleon Built in Paris--that arc.

[Ibrahim90]

This is a hell of a day, when I'm posting this:

http://www.vox.com/2015/9/14/9326965/obama-political-correctness

I'm impressed: Obama said something I totally agree with.

[MrBogosity]

This is a hell of a day, when I'm posting this:

http://www.vox.com/2015/9/14/9326965/obama-political-correctness

I'm impressed: Obama said something I totally agree with.

I saw that! Waiting for the fallout. This should be good...

[Ibrahim90]

I saw that! Waiting for the fallout. This should be good...

I'd grab popcorn, but with rationing in full effect, I'll make do with Ramen

[AdeptusHereticus]

The language is still quite vague, and he didn't allude to the most controversial cases. He still might be able to find loop holes when the times comes, as politicians often do. If he feels he have to defend the same behaviour in a very specific case, he will find specific words to make it sounds as a special case. Or at least I expect him to do so. Fuck me if I'm wrong.