Fav quotes

Started by Lord T Hawkeye, September 19, 2009, 01:02:11 AM

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[yt]SK57vJGEYAY[/yt]
Oh man, this video takes me WAY back. Videos of furry pictures set to romantic or sweet music. All the nostalgia. <3
"When the mob and the press and the whole world tell you to move, your job is to plant yourself like a tree beside the river of truth, and tell the whole world—'No. You move.'"
-Captain America, Amazing Spider-Man 537

July 08, 2016, 12:48:05 PM #5026 Last Edit: April 01, 2017, 07:01:29 PM by Travis Retriever
"The enemy of my enemy is not [necessarily] my friend."—our own Dave, and Penn Jillette in an episode of "Bullshit!"
"When the mob and the press and the whole world tell you to move, your job is to plant yourself like a tree beside the river of truth, and tell the whole world—'No. You move.'"
-Captain America, Amazing Spider-Man 537

Quote from: Travis Retriever on July 08, 2016, 12:48:05 PM
"The enemy of my enemy is not my friend."—our own Dave, since Google isn't giving me a source.

As the Nietzscheans put it, "The enemy of my enemy...is just another enemy."

July 09, 2016, 01:20:21 AM #5028 Last Edit: July 09, 2016, 01:23:21 AM by Ibrahim90
It's about Morsi, but it applies to virtually every government in history...(I can't get the embed to work, but you should see the video, linked below to when it starts: the lines translated will be a lot funnier that way).

https://youtu.be/lykCexcbog8?t=20m19s

Quote from: Bassem Youssef"and this is the real achievement of the president and the brotherhood...to have everyone think they have achievements--to fool yourself, and create illusion for those around you. And if you have trouble proving yourself to the people, then go the way of the Brotherhood, and and use Injaz service (Injaz=achievement):

Commercial starts:

Quote from: commercial
Ayman Wattar (AW): Hey! you! failure at life?
*Khalid nods yes eagerly*
AW: your resources are running out and you can't get more?
have you grown tired of people's looks at you?
and inside you is a lot you want to say?
*lady opens a jam jar Khalid couldn't, as narrator continues*
No one appreciates you save your family and friends?
Anchorman: FAILURE!!!
AW: worry not! with Injaz service, we have a wide assortment of imaginary achievements!
So what if people see you are a failure?
focus with me! It's enough you deceive yourself into thinking you achieve things! With injaz service, everything in your life is an achievement!
-To find a parking spot right by your home is an achievement--even if you have no car!
-That you watch the president's speech--that is an achievement! And that you complete it--that is also an achievement!
*Khalid emerges from the bathroom*
AW: never-mind that you have achievements people don't see--and it's best if people don't see them!
-To attribute someone else's achievements to yourself--that is also an achievement! He's* better than you and he does it!
-to hell with people's opinion! With injaz service, keep believing* yourself...



*Mohammad Morsi--then president of Egypt...
*in this context, you can also translate it as "keep deluding yourself"...
"All you guys complaining about the possibility of guy on guy relationships...you're also denying us girl on girl.  Works both ways if you know what I mean"

-Jesse Cox

Quote from: Travis Retriever on July 08, 2016, 12:48:05 PM
"The enemy of my enemy is not my friend."—our own Dave, since Google isn't giving me a source.

Penn Jillette said it in an episode of "Bullshit!"

July 12, 2016, 12:53:00 AM #5030 Last Edit: July 12, 2016, 12:56:01 AM by Ibrahim90
I put it here, because it is the ultimate example of a "hidden joke" in action. and I mean it's hidden:

[yt]watch?v=lniQLntLPQs[/yt]

The commercial itself is nothing special. Personally I find it mildly funny at best.

But Bassem has kindly provided an Arabic translation to his Arab audience. There's where the comedy really begins. I'll write it, line by line:

[spoiler]
-laughter and silliness and ultimate *no idea--some weird Egyptian word*
-How are ya sis?! can I bring my headless baby and come with you?
-hello sister!
-peace be upon you! (my god have you been castrated)
-tired of too many Muslims around you?
-disgusted from how often you're worried about everyone else?
-Oh yeah man!
-GASP!
-Then you're totally petty****, and need "breathe easy" (breathe easy)
-YAY!!!
-totally sweet!
-with the patent for our technology, which no one wants to use (kind of like Abd al-Ati's kufta), we found a way
-to determine just how Muslim your neighbor is (and how soon he'll blow your damned self up).
-oh boy....
-at Jihad Solutions we found a dragon-awesome way to quantify the amount of extremist enzymes
-present in the saliva (ewwww!!!!) of anyone. It works as follows: we know through our advanced tech how
-to dismantle the particles present in the saliva (ewwww!!!!)
-Everytime someone says "death to America"
-"the same line, totally terrifying"
-it leaves a teeny tiny cute little trace in its cells which can be read.
-Breathe easy can measure this trace easily, using a simple meter
-breathe easy can accurately measure the amount of radical enzymes
-from "like Hummus" to "supports Daesh".
-the readings are precise
-More accurate than a drone strike (which the Americans are pwning us with).
-simply have your friend blow into the damn breathe-easy, and you'll know
-to measure, pardon me, the unnecessary fear you have you idiot
-Hey slippers (just go with it), you mind?
-fine you stupid woman
-YAY!!
-totally sweet!
-Yay! Hummus (the Muslim lady: this woman is seriously stupid)
-I like Hummus! (no shit?)
-Now we can be friends! (I wish I were).
-Thanks breathe easy!
-Thanks a bunch breathe easy*
-This is poor manners and licentiousness man!
-I don't normally do this (I believe you...)
-Are you sure you're ready (seriously...)
-well yea! what, you think I'm here for Yoga? did you have tests? (does that boy have AIDS or what?)
-yeah, of course
-can you breathe into this
-God-damn it! fine!
-peace of mind is available for just five payments of $14.95 (don't try to convert that to Egyptian Pounds so you don't get pwned)
-So order now, and blow in their faces, so you know exactly their sect...**
-your turn sweety
-FUCK! you support Daesh you daughter of a bitch?!
-I opened one of their videos on facebook--only one I swear!
-(oh hello to Daesh!)
-order today!
-WARNING: the side effects of breath easy may include, but are not limited to: headache, tunnel vision, unexplained loss of friends, supporting Donald Trump, depression, isolation, Paranoia, eye burning***, looking like an underwear to your friends and neighbors, crying with a burn in the bathroom, loss of appetite, loss of work, the desire to raise the confederate flag (don't have to know that one), diarrhea of the mouth (DAMN!), and Anal leakage (DAMN again!)
-order in the next five minutes and we'll add Jihad Solution's home waterboarding kit for free!
-Total thanks Breathe Easy!
[/spoiler]

****can also mean insignificant, worthless, etc.
*sarcastically
**milla can refer to a religious party, a sect, or simply any group with a shared identity.
***going to hell
"All you guys complaining about the possibility of guy on guy relationships...you're also denying us girl on girl.  Works both ways if you know what I mean"

-Jesse Cox



Word!
Working every day to expose the terrible price we pay for government.

Sort of a companion piece to my last Fail Quote:

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Myles tearing a strip off Rebecca Watson for lying in a Skepticon talk.

Brace yourselves:

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"All you guys complaining about the possibility of guy on guy relationships...you're also denying us girl on girl.  Works both ways if you know what I mean"

-Jesse Cox

"Forgotten were the elementary rules of logic, that extraordinary claims require extraordinary evidence and that which can be asserted without evidence can also be dismissed without evidence."—Christopher Hitchens
"When the mob and the press and the whole world tell you to move, your job is to plant yourself like a tree beside the river of truth, and tell the whole world—'No. You move.'"
-Captain America, Amazing Spider-Man 537

August 18, 2016, 09:56:44 PM #5035 Last Edit: August 18, 2016, 10:03:48 PM by Travis Retriever


"If I'd asked people what they wanted, they would have said faster horses."—Henry Ford.
"When the mob and the press and the whole world tell you to move, your job is to plant yourself like a tree beside the river of truth, and tell the whole world—'No. You move.'"
-Captain America, Amazing Spider-Man 537

And now for something different:

[yt]P4KBPaS-1PU[/yt]

Frankly, his explanation of Star Trek makes more sense than what the creator of the franchise had in mind...
"All you guys complaining about the possibility of guy on guy relationships...you're also denying us girl on girl.  Works both ways if you know what I mean"

-Jesse Cox

Looks like Adam Todd Brown of Cracked is willing to point out why gun control is a bad idea.

http://www.cracked.com/blog/the-5-dumbest-things-we-do-in-name-gun-control/
Working every day to expose the terrible price we pay for government.

Quote from: Ibrahim90 on September 10, 2016, 04:01:10 PM
And now for something different:

[yt]P4KBPaS-1PU[/yt]

Frankly, his explanation of Star Trek makes more sense than what the creator of the franchise had in mind...
Wouldn't surprise me.
Remember, the difference between communism and socialism is purely semantic.  There is no difference.  Even Karl Marx used the two terms interchangeably.
And the difference between communism and fascism is inconsequential.  While a definite difference does indeed exist from the political scientist's point of view, the economic effects of both systems is indistinguishable.
"When the mob and the press and the whole world tell you to move, your job is to plant yourself like a tree beside the river of truth, and tell the whole world—'No. You move.'"
-Captain America, Amazing Spider-Man 537

Quote from: Travis Retriever on September 11, 2016, 08:25:06 PM
Wouldn't surprise me.
Remember, the difference between communism and socialism is purely semantic.  There is no difference.  Even Karl Marx used the two terms interchangeably.
And the difference between communism and fascism is inconsequential.  While a definite difference does indeed exist from the political scientist's point of view, the economic effects of both systems is indistinguishable.

Not just the economic effects.  To the poor schmuck on the ground just trying to stay alive and as intact as possible, all authoritarian systems are pretty much indistinguishable beyond the window dressing.